pyhiinvaellus

I want to walk, walk to a sacred place. In Finnish it's called "pyhiinvaellus", walk to holiness or something like that, in English the closest word is maybe pilgrimage.

I just feel a huge pull from a direction, and I feel I can't go anywhere else... I'm in Espoo, in Finland, and it's winter, and it's cold, but I don't even want to carry anything, I just want to walk. I don't even care what happens. This is just the kind of thing that to me seems the most sensible/sensuous thing to do, but what some people think is crazy.

I don't want to do anything else. I can't do anything else. Sure, would be nice if someone came with me. But that's up to them.

And I don't know if I'm interested in "taking care of myself" anymore. I've been "taking care of myself" enough, now I just want to give myself. If other people give me care, then I'm happy, but I feel total disinterest in anything but walking, or lying on the ground, or playing around. I feel complete disinterest in anything but living a human life... I feel disinterest in anything but walking and singing...

what's dying, anyway? If I fall asleep on grass and freeze, there will become spring and I will still be me. I'll just come in many shapes.